America, we have to have a long sober talk.
It’s been a while since the world had to get together to do this, but we might just need to kick you off the planet.
No this isn’t about more pollution, we’re already ok with that. It’s not about the Trump presidency, Putin’s taken the crazy in this planet already and we’re good with that. It’s not about the militancy or anything.
We have to talk about this insane gun fetish you have. It’s unhealthy. It’s starting to become so weird, we’re thinking of calling it a new mental disease — ammosexual just isn’t cutting it anymore. Something like gunorexic aphyxiation, the act of killing you self by dreaming about guns so much you forget to breath. Don’t believe me? Someone. Someone somewhere thought this was a good idea.
I can’t even. Someone thought the best way to fix children being scared of stranger with guns to make those guns look like phones that also shoot bullets. Because, you know, that’s a fix, somehow.
This is going to be insane and terrible. The police already have a hair trigger “he reached for his belt” excuse they pull out all the time — now they can say the phone was a gun. Open carry? No man, that’s a phone, really, I swear.
I guess one good thing about this is the guy who does gunfail’s next 10 years is secure.
Seriously, what in the hells?
On aside note, you have to love the creator’s realization that yes, children will kill themselves with his product. But his defense of “Well, kids were offing themselves before I did it!” is a very. . . Unique one.